


This Can't be Happening

by BunnyHeda



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clexa, College AU, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Partying, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:55:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29610453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BunnyHeda/pseuds/BunnyHeda
Summary: Clarke and Lexa find themselves in a shared college class after not getting along in high school. Clarke's not sure if her frustrations are because Lexa is bossy and arrogant or if it's because she wants her to be bossy an arrogant towards her in other ways. Raven has Clarke's back in some comedic relief and has fun using Clarke's words against her.
Relationships: Anya/Raven Reyes, Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 57
Kudos: 149





	1. Chapter 1

“You would not believe who my lab partner is,” Clarke groans.

The sun is shining bright, and it’s comfortably warm outside with numerous students passing each other on the sidewalks. Clarke and Raven are walking back to their dorm room from their first day of classes of their freshman year at Polis University. They were best friends all through high school and made sure they went to the same college and shared a dorm room.

“Who?” The dark haired girl asked.

“ _Commander_ Lexa,” Clarke answers with an eye roll.

“No shit,” Raven laughs. “I didn’t even know she was going to go to this school. At least you’ll get a good grade. That girl is dedicated.”

“Yeah, dedicated to everything not fun!”

“Oh, come on. Shouldn’t you be happy? I’m pretty sure I remember you telling me, and I quote, ‘she’s hot as fuck and wouldn’t mind if she had that demanding, arrogant, and bossy attitude in the bedroom?’”

“Raven!” Clarke hissed. “First of all, I was completely wasted when I said that so it doesn’t count. Secondly, you promised to never bring that up again!”

“Oh, and you said you don’t care how hateful she seems, the way she says your name makes you shiver in your crotch,” Raven stated matter of factly, impressed with herself that she didn’t even crack a smile at the absurdity of Clarke’s words.

“Raven!” Clarke yelled again through clenched teeth. This time with a shove to the shoulder.

Raven shrugged and added with a smirk, “Look at the bright side, at least you have a hot lab partner to look at every class.”

“She made my life a living hell our last 2 years in high school, remember? I’m sure she’ll be the same way in this class.”

The girls trekked up the steps to their building still bickering about if Clarke will survive her chemistry class being paired up with her worst enemy. They make it to their room dropping their bags on the ground and each flop onto their respected beds.

“It’ll be fine, Clarke. This isn’t high school, she can’t just boss you around anymore.”

“I wish I could believe that,” the blonde replied with a huff.

Clarke lied back trying to shake the high school memories of a bossy, demanding girl from her head. Memories of a girl with flowing, wavy, chestnut hair. Hair that she usually saw pulled up in intricate braids, but looked just as heavenly when it was down in waves.

She smacked her palms down hard against the mattress with a huff. This is not what she was supposed to be thinking about.

“Oh! And you said even though she’s always glaring at you, her eyes are like a forest you could spend years exploring,” Raven called out from her own bed.

“Raven!” Clarke emphasized her frustration by throwing her pillow at the other girl, which only made her laugh harder.

  
  


____________________

  
  


“You’re doing it wrong, Clarke.”

“Then how am I supposed to do it, _Lexa_?”

The two were next to each other at their shared desk for their chemistry class. Clarke went in today with a bout of confidence remembering Raven’s words of this isn’t high school anymore. She can do this. However, that confidence dwindled as quickly as their arguing ensued. Everyone was instructed to work with their partners on today’s assignment to gauge the overall understanding of the class.

With an exaggerated grunt, Lexa pulled the packet Clarke was working on out from under her hands. She moved it in front of herself shaking her head and without a word began working on the equations herself.

“I see nothings changed since I last saw you,” Clarke grumbled.

“I could say the same about you, Clarke. Still trying to do more than you’re ready for,” Lexa stated without looking up from the papers.

“You don’t know me.”

“Don’t I?” Lexa still kept her eyes on the papers as she went on, “We may not have been friends, Clarke, but we were side by side for 2 years. I know you.”

“Maybe I’d believe that if you did more than just bark orders at me for those 2 years,” she retorted.

“I’m observant. We don’t need to have slumber parties and gossip for me to know who you are.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“Maybe you should study more.” Lexa gave a small shrug of her shoulder.

“It’s only the second day of class!” Clarke threw her hands up feeling her blood pressure rise at the audacity of this girl. She was intelligent and Lexa knew that, but did she really expect her to be above and beyond right now? It’s their first year of college, they should also be learning how to settle in on their own and have some fun.

“And you’re already behind,” Lexa finally turned her head and met the other girl’s eyes as the words left her lips. She turned back to what she was working on before seeing the look of shock cross Clarke’s face.

Clenching her fists, Clarke closed her eyes and tried to control her breathing. God, Lexa was infuriating. She fought the urge to lunge out of her seat and take Lexa to the ground. It’s not like she hadn’t done it before. Though the repercussions of acting on it in the middle of class won’t be worth it she tells herself.

She keeps her eyes closed instead. Clenching and unclenching her hands, breathing in and out. It’s just one class (for a whole semester, but just one class), she can do this. She starts to feel the grasp of her anger loosen as she tries to calm herself down.

“Clarke.”

_Shiver._ The anger resides a little more. Her hands are now open and relaxed at her sides. Her shoulders slump slightly letting out some of the tension.

“Clarke.”

_Shiver._ It’s almost all gone now; her breathing is easy and her lips part slightly. Her body is much more relaxed. See? She _can_ do this.

“Clarke!”

Startled, her eyes fly open turning to the girl who’s been trying to get her attention. Her brow furrows in confusion as to what she could possibly want from her now.

“Your phone keeps buzzing,” Lexa says to her clearly annoyed. Clarke’s unsure if it’s because of the phone going off or because she was so caught up in her relaxation technique that she had been ignoring her. Knowing Lexa, it was probably both plus the basic fact of Clarke’s existence.

Not bothering with an apology, she picks her phone up off the desk. A series of messages highlight the screen.

**RAVEN: Good luck with the commander today!**   
**RAVEN: Remember she is NOT your boss**   
**RAVEN: Unless youre in the bedroom (winky face)**   
**RAVEN: And try to keep those crotch shivers under control**   
**RAVEN: That could be really embarrassing**

Clarke rolled her eyes and dropped her phone back on the desk with a clatter. Her friend’s sense of humor wasn’t entirely getting through to her in this current situation.

“Everything ok?” Lexa asked eyeing her.

Shit. Did Lexa sees those messages? She can’t really imagine her lab partner sneaking peaks of her phone, but if she had, it definitely wouldn't help this thing between them. Clarke made a mental note to kill Raven for her impeccable timing later.

“Uh, yeah. All good, let’s just get back to it.”

Lexa pushes the packet more towards the center of their table in a peace offering. She starts back where she left off while saying, “I’ll show you. Pay attention, Clarke.”

The blonde had to stop herself from outwardly groaning. Why _does_ she say her name like that? Always slowly, enunciating every letter well enough that Clarke can practically _see_ how Lexa’s tongue is moving in her mouth every time she says it. Soberly, she wouldn’t describe it as a ‘crotch shiver’ feeling, but it does pull some where deep down in her every time Lexa utters the name. The confusing part is, Clarke’s not sure if this is something she’s supposed to like or not.

Working through the equations slowly, Lexa glances back here and there to make sure the blonde was following along. Clarke watched, listening to the little comments the brunette would make about her thought process and noticing her perfect penmanship.

“You see, it’s really not that hard, Clarke.”

There it is again. Saying her name like that. She closes her eyes trying to control the feeling in the pit of her stomach.

“Clarke?”

Fuck. Suddenly, a whole semester does feel like too much. Maybe she really won’t get through this. She’d have to find a way to get used to it, or maybe she could tape Lexa’s mouth shut so she can’t say anything? No, that would never work.

“Clarke!”

“Could you just stop it already?!” She unintentionally exploded; breathing heavy and glaring at the girl next to her. She didn’t mean to snap, it was just that Lexa was so fucking relentless with her name. She had to get her to stop somehow.

With a huff and a roll of her eyes, Lexa slid the papers back to her side of the table and began to work on her own again. Of course, she thought Clarke’s outburst was about her trying to help and nothing else. Her and Clarke never really got along, but she never considered the girl ungrateful. She was fully aware how smart her lab partner actually is, and that she’s a very quick learner, so here she was only trying to encourage that. Clearly, a mistake.

Clarke dropped her head into her hands with her elbows resting on the table. She was embarrassed of her little fit, but there was no taking it back now. And in all fairness, it worked. The rest of class went by with neither one of them saying another word to each other.

_____________________

“I don’t think I can do it, Raven,” Clarke admitted.

The two were in the dorm room settling in. Clarke was climbing into her bed and Raven was already in hers leaning against the headboard typing away on her laptop.

“Do what?”

“Lexa. Maybe I should just drop the class,” the blonde groaned as she got comfortable on her own bed.

“What!” Raven looked up incredulously from her screen.

“We were at each other’s throats today. It was like everything she said drove me insane, I could barely handle it. How am I supposed to even learn anything if all I can think about it how much she’s pissing me off?”

“Excuse me? You are Clarke fucking Griffin and you’ve never given up on anything before. There is no way in hell I’m letting you drop this class. If I need to go smack some sense into the commander for you, I’ll do it. Just say the word.” Raven crossed her arms over her chest proudly.

“No! I’m still questioning if she saw your text messages today. Thank you for that, by the way. You’ve said enough, really.”

“Ok, then. But promise me you won’t drop the class?”

“Fine, I promise,” Clarke replied with a roll of her eyes.

“Good. ‘Cause you also told me once that as much as you wished Lexa would let loose here and there, you find her intelligence super sexy and you would fully commit to a school girl outfit to get her to tutor you and maybe more,” Raven waggled her eyebrows at that last bit.

“Oh, my God, Raven! I swear if you don’t stop telling me these things..” Clarke’s not sure what exactly she’s trying to threaten, but Raven’s remembrance of her drunken confessions is beginning to hit a tipping point.

“What? I’m offended to be honest. I’m a super genius and you’ve never told me how sexy my brain is or offered anything like that to me.”

Clarke couldn’t help but laugh as she dramatically told Raven she couldn’t stand her. Her roommate laughed back throwing her hands up in a heart shape to her.

“Forgot to tell you, I got us an invite to a party tomorrow night. That should take your mind off Lexa for a while, so get some sleep!”

The blonde smiled at the thought of that. A party actually sounded like it would do her some good. Maybe she’d make some new friends or even find someone to release some of this built up tension she’s getting. Yes, this was something to look forward too, Clarke thought as she drifted off to sleep that night.

_______________

A wet warmth pressed against her neck. She could hear the intake of breath. Was that her own breath? The warmth at her neck moved down making soft smacking sounds until it stopped where her shoulder met. An intense sucking with a scraping of what felt like teeth caused her to cry out before a hot and wet soothing sensation covered the same spot.

Clarke’s hands were wound in soft, brown locks following along to the assault at her neck. Her body was completely bare aside from the equally naked body lying atop the length of her. A body that felt utterly amazing pressed to her skin. Hands that weren’t her own found themselves cupped to her wanting breasts. Moans escaped her mouth as those hands expertly squeezed and kneaded at the flesh. She hissed out as both her nipples were pinched between a thumb and forefinger at the same time.

The devouring mouth made its way back up her neck, nipping and kissing along the way. A tongue slid across her jaw line before the lips found their rightful place at her own mouth. They kissed wet and sloppy; two sets of moans mixing together. A hand trailed down Clarke’s torso as their tongues continued to fight for dominance.

The girl on top finally pulled back from the kiss gasping for breath. She opened her eyes meeting Clarke’s and all Clarke saw was green. A whole forest of green staring back at her. The girl smirked, proud of the way the blonde seemed so lost in her eyes.

Suddenly, lips were back on her. At the base of her neck, but still moving along mapping a way to her breasts Clarke hoped. She almost begged for it right before plump lips encircled her left nipple. She took in a sharp breath as a skilled tongue flicked its way back and forth.

“Tell me what you want, Clarke,” she said confidently against the pebbled skin.

And fuck, Clarke moaned at just the way her name was said, especially against that part of her body.

“You, Lexa. I want you inside me. Please,” she whispered the best she could between pants and moans.

She could feel the smile against her skin as Lexa’s hand continued its descent to where she wanted her most. Tickling her skin all along the way.

“Mm, Clarke,” the brunette said as her hand met a hot slickness.

She raised her hips up encouraging the hand to explore more. Fingers slid so easily through the slick folds, over top of the bundle of nerves and above her entrance. They continued to slide up and down being coated in wetness causing Clarke to squirm.

“Clarke,” She moaned out again.

The blonde knew she was absolutely dripping and ready for Lexa’s next move. She pushed her hips up again needing those long fingers to make the plunge. A whine escaped her lips in the form of a beg, absolutely pleading for her to give her what she needs. Finally, two fingers pushed in slowly and Clarke thought she might lose herself right here and now with how amazing that simple act felt. Then, she heard her call out her name again.

“Clarke!”

Clarke jolted upright gasping for breath. Brown, concerned eyes were staring at her. Two hands were grasped firmly to her shoulders.

“Clarke, are you ok?” The brown eyed person asks.

Raven. It was Raven. Clarke looks around at her surroundings. She’s in her bed in her dorm room with a worried friend holding on to her.

“Uh, yeah. Fine, I’m fine.” The blonde stammers out.

“You must have been having a nightmare. Do you remember it? You were whining and moaning.” Raven’s eyes search hers for any indication that she’s not ok.

Oh, no. No. Nightmare was right, this can’t be happening.

“Fuck,” Clarke breathes out as her head falls forward into her own hands.

No, no, no. All Raven’s joking aside of Clarke’s confessions, she just can’t. She can’t have an actual, real, sober crush on Lexa Woodside. She _can’t_.

“This can’t be happening,” she groaned through her fingers.


	2. Party and Drinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Raven go to a party, Lexa and Clarke continue to bicker, Raven makes Clarke have drinks with her and Anya and Anya's roommate.

“So how did you get us invited to this party again?” Clarke asks Raven. They were walking from their dorm to the edge of campus where Raven said the party was being held at a house.

“I may have flirted with this super hot chick in my calculus class and this was my reward. It’s a start of the new school year party. And our first party, so don’t be weird. We need to make a good first impression,” Raven explained.

“What do you mean? I’m not weird,” Clarke objects.

“I mean, don’t hide in a corner or sit and read a book or something. Mingle. _Crotch_ mingle, actually! It’s been a while for you, right?”

Clarke rolls her eyes, but visions of her dream the night before come flashing through her mind. “Hmm, I’m not against some action tonight, but we’ll see how it goes. Tell me about this hottie in your calc class though?”

“Oh, yeah. Her name’s Anya, and she’s super scary. I’m totally into it,” Raven beams.

“Sounds like such a charmer.”

“And I’m pretty sure she’s from the same place Lexa grew up before transferring to our school. Maybe I can get some intel about her for you?” Raven smiles hopefully.

“Really not necessary, but thanks for the offer.”

“You sure?” Raven asks. “Pretty positive you told me you’d really _really_ like to know how turned on you’d get if Lexa whispered sweet nothings to you in Trigedasleng.”

“Seriously, Raven! How many of these things did I tell you?”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got a whole arsenal of them. And hopefully, you’ll get drunk enough tonight to give me more,” Raven responds with a laugh.

“And this is exactly why I’m _not_ going to get that drunk tonight.”

“Oh, you’re no fun.”

The girls finish their walk to the house. They can see people out on the front porch and hanging in the yard. Mostly solo cups in hands, but also bottles and cans of beer. Music is also drifting out the front door and windows.

They walk in and see a few people sitting on a couch in the living room, a group of people are up dancing on the other side of the room, and another group of people sitting at a kitchen table and on stools up to the counter tops in the kitchen.

“Oh, there she is!” Raven points toward a girl sitting at the table in the kitchen. “At the table, right next to….shit.”

Clarke looks over in the pointed direction and instantly sees what her friend is referring to. There is a very attractive girl with high cheek bones and perfect posture sitting at the table, but directly next to her is another girl Clarke wasn’t expecting to see. Lexa.

“My bad, dude. They must be friends. I thought this would get your mind off her for a little while. I didn’t think ‘no fun commander’ would actually be at a party,” Raven says solemnly.

Lexa meets Clarke’s eyes and she thinks she’s sees a hint of surprise in them at seeing the blonde there. Clarke gives a clipped smile at her and Lexa lifts her bottle of beer tipping it towards her in acknowledgment. Hopefully, a peace offering for the night.

“It’s ok, Raven. You should still go over there, get your flirt on. I’ll be fine on my own, maybe make some new friends,” Clarke encourages. In all honestly, she’s really not upset about Lexa being there, it’s not like they have to interact with each other here. She also fully supports her best friend getting her game on or whatever she’s trying to accomplish with this new, ‘scary’ girl.

“Are you sure? I can totally be your wing woman. I’m your girl if you want me, Clarke.”

“Positive. Go do your thing, I’m gonna go mingle,” Clarke responds with a wink.

Raven takes a few steps backwards away from Clarke in Anya and Lexa’s direction. Before turning around to walk fully to them, she puts two thumbs up and mouths ‘crotch mingle!’ encouragingly to her friend. Clarke just shakes her head with a smile and heads over to the living room.

She perches herself on the arm of the couch and watches happily at the carefree people dancing on the other side of the room. She looks around in hopes to recognize anyone else, but aside from a couple people she’s seen in her classes she doesn’t know anyone else here.

After a few minutes of people watching someone gracefully sits on the cushion next to the armrest Clarke is seated on. A hand reaches over holding a bottle of beer stopping right in front her.

“Looked like you forgot to grab a drink,” the person says.

Clarke looks over to see a tall girl with dirty blonde hair and a genuine smile holding the beer out to her. She timidly reaches out and takes the drink from her shyly smiling back.

“Thank you.”

“Are you new here? I haven’t seen you around before,” The girl inquires.

“Yeah, I just started here. Is it that obvious I’m a freshman?”

The other woman shrugs. “You do look young, but you’re very pretty.”

Clarke smiles more confidently now and clinks their beers together before taking a swig.

“I’m Niylah,” she states while keeping eye contact through her own swig.

“Clarke,” the blonde responds while holding out her free hand.

Niylah takes her hand, but instead of shaking it in a usual greeting, she lightly holds on and asks, “Would you like to dance, Clarke?”

She’s pulled to her feet while nodding in agreement. They drop their beers on the coffee table and Niylah leads them over to the other side of the room. The other woman is quite a bit taller than Clarke, but she has no complaints about that. She raises her arms up to the back of Niylah’s neck while she feels hands rest easy on her own hips.

They sway together for a while, changing their dancing style as the songs change. Some are slower where they move in sync to the beat where some are faster and they jump and twist smiling all along. Clarke can’t help but notice the other woman is quite attractive and not shy at all with her affection in the middle of the dance floor. She has to admit she’s into it, and maybe this is exactly what she needs to get some other things off her mind.

After a few songs, Clarke feels a tap on the back of her shoulder. She turns to see a beaming Raven who eagerly dances along with them. Clarke turns in Niylah's arms so her back is now pressed against the other girl’s front. The taller girl wraps her arms around Clarke’s stomach and rests her chin on the blonde’s shoulder. They keep contact and continue to sway and dance while Raven and Clarke talk.

“Dude! I got her number!” Raven yells with a smug smile and raises her right hand high in the air.

Clarke high fives her proudly, “Nice work!”

Raven then leans close to her friend’s ear, “Also a certain commander hasn’t been able to keep her eyes off you all night. What’s up with that?”

“What?” Clarke asks as her eyes turn towards the girl in question.

And sure enough, their gazes meet across the rooms before Lexa hurriedly looks away. Clarke makes a more exaggerated grind against Niylah in case Lexa was looking for a show then rolls her eyes and looks back to Raven.

“I’m sure she’s judging me. No doubt wishing I was studying instead of partying,” she explains to her friend.

Raven makes a face and shakes her head. “That’s ridiculous, Clarke.”

“Welcome to my world, Raven!” Clarke exasperates wide eyed.

“Well, it looks like you’re having a good time either way,” Raven says while nodding to the girl happily wrapped around Clarke.

The blonde smirks and shrugs. She’s allowed her fun too.

They continue to dance for a while longer, Clarke in between Niylah and Raven. She still has her back pressed against the taller blonde and Niylah’s hands have started to roam up and down her arms and torso. Raven dances freely in front of them happy to be having fun and seeing her bestie stress free.

After a few more songs, Raven asks, “You ready to head out yet?”

“You sure, it’s still kinda early?” The blonde responds.

“Positive. It would be weird if I started to text Anya while I was still here.”

“You want to leave the party that the girl you like is hosting so you can go home and text said girl?” Clarke asks confused.

“Yes! Thank you, let’s go!”

“Raven, that makes no sense.”

“I’ve got a process, Clarke. Come on. Not safe to walk home alone at night!” her friend pleads.

“Fine, I’ll meet you outside in a minute.”

As Raven walks away, Clarke turns back in Niylah’s arms so they’re facing each other again. She rocks her hips with her for another moment before saying, “Thanks for the dance, Niylah, but it’s time for me to head out apparently.” She adds with a sincere smile, “This was fun though.”

“Thank you, Clarke. Anya has parties like this pretty often, hopefully I’ll see you at another one?” They were still wrapped up in each other on the dance floor and Niylah lowered her head very close to Clarke’s; almost touching foreheads.

“I’d like that,” the shorter girl responded.

Niylah leaned down the rest of the way and pressed her lips to Clarke’s. Clarke was honestly expecting it and kissed her back right away. She felt nice against her and it had been some time since she had gotten to kiss anybody. She missed contact like this, but something didn’t feel exactly right. To be honest, her first thought was this kiss felt absolutely nothing like the one from her dream from the night before. This kind of thing was supposed to help distract her from her ludicrous crush on Lexa, not make her think Lexa would be better.

When they pulled apart, Clarke opened her eyes and instead of looking at Niylah like she should have, she looked past her to where she knew Lexa was sitting. She was met with green eyes glaring right back at her.

“Until next time,” Niylah says pulling Clarke from her staring contest with the brunette.

The blonde nods and heads out to meet Raven and walk back to their room.

____________________

The following week, Clarke is walking outside on the way to her chemistry class when she runs into Lexa.

“Oh, hey,” she greets.

“Clarke.”

Considering they’re heading to the same building, they fall in step next to one another. It would seem a little more awkward if they hadn’t.

“Look, I’m sorry for yelling at you the other day in class. I know you were just trying to help,” Clarke apologizes, knowing full well her outburst had nothing to do with Lexa helping her. Hopefully, she can keep herself under better control today.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve put up with far worse from you,” the brunette responds with a smirk.

“Ok, now. We don’t have to go down memory lane or anything here,” Clarke smiles back; glad that Lexa is making light of it.

They fall back into silence for a little while as they near the science building. Before entering, Clarke speaks up again, “I didn’t think you were one for parties.”

“I’m not,” Lexa states simply.

Clarke’s not really sure how to respond to that since she very clearly saw the brunette at the house party the other night. Maybe her friend forced her into going? It’s not really that important, Clarke supposes.

“You and Niylah, huh?” Lexa mutters now that the conversation has moved to the party.

“Oh,” Clarke feels a little caught of guard. “Yeah, she seems really nice and fun.”

“You know she’s not really the relationship type, right?”

Clarke looks over to Lexa eyeing her curiously. How does she know that and what business of it is hers when it comes to Clarke?

“Good thing I didn’t propose to her or anything on the first night I met her,” Clarke spits out sarcastically.

“No need to get offended, I’m just giving you a heads up,” Lexa defends as they push through the doors of the building.

“I can have fun, you know. Without expectations.” After a short pause, she adds, “Right, that’s something you probably don’t know much about.”

“Just because you are not witnessing me having fun, Clarke, does not mean I don’t enjoy myself from time to time.”

“And what do you consider fun? Being holed up by yourself with a text book?”

Lexa doesn’t take the bait. She smirks and replies, “Probably things you could only dream about, Clarke.”

This stops Clarke dead in her tracks as images of things she _has_ dreamt about come flooding to her mind again. Lexa pays her no mind and heads into the classroom leaving the other woman gaping at the door.

When Clarke finally pulls herself together and takes her seat the rest of class goes on with their usual bickering back at full force.

“Maybe if you weren’t making out with random girls at parties, you would be better prepared for these assignments,” Lexa tells her at one point.

“You have no place to judge me, Lexa,” Clarke says through clenched teeth.

“Maybe. But I am not going to let you pull my grade down,” Lexa’s voice remains calm even though she can tell Clarke is getting worked up.

“Do you think I’m stupid?” Clarke questions through squinted eyes.

Lexa sighs. “Actually, Clarke. I think you are quite intelligent, so it surprises me when you do stupid things.”

“Like going to a party now that I’m in college that you also happened to be at, if you weren’t aware?” Clarke is glaring at her now.

“I really do not think it would be wise for me to list off all the stupid things I have known you to do.”

Clarke scoffs and aggressively pushes her chair back from the desk. “You are unbelievable,” she says as she rises and takes a step away, wanting to be anywhere but around the infuriating woman.

However, Lexa quickly reaches out and grabs Clarke’s wrist before she can fully walk away. Clarke turns and stares down with a wicked fire in her eyes. “Let go of me.”

“You need to control your anger, Clarke. You’ll get no where like this.” Lexa holds her stare, though not as nearly as intense as the other woman’s.

“That’s easy for you to say, you’re the one trying to piss me off.”

“I am sorry, please sit,” The brunette nods down to her chair in another plead.

“Everything ok, ladies?” Their teacher chimes in from the front of the class. Everyone in the class was supposed to be working with their partners, but Clarke was kind of making a scene.

“All good, professor,” Lexa answers quickly and lightly tugs on the blonde’s wrist in another encouragement to get her to sit.

Clarke finally complies and falls back down to her seat. Her chest is heaving from anger and Lexa can feel the girl’s pulse racing through her veins where her hand still grasps onto her.

“I’m sorry,” Lexa says again. “You are right. I have no room to judge you, and I meant it when I said I do think you are very smart. I shouldn’t have said those other things though.” She gives her wrist a light squeeze, but still hasn’t let go.

Clarke’s anger has started to slip away at Lexa’s words, but now she has become all too aware of the hand holding onto her. The fingers are long and slender and so soft against her skin. _No,_ she wasn’t supposed to be thinking like that. Lexa was only touching her out of necessity, she would be making a bigger fool of herself to think anything above that.

“Let’s just get back to work,” Clarke grumbles as she yanks her arm out of Lexa’s grasp.

_________________

When Clarke returned to her dorm room that afternoon all she wanted to do was collapse onto her bed, put some Netflix on her laptop, and just relax for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, her roommate had already made other plans for them.

Before Clarke could even make it to her bed, Raven excitedly spoke up, "Clean yourself up, Clarke. Put on something nice! We've gotta go."

"What? Go where? I really just want to lay down for the rest of forever, Raven. The Commander was extra brutal today."

"Well, this should make you feel better! My texting game with Anya was on point, as I'm sure you already guessed. She invited me over for drinks tonight under the condition I brought a pretty girl to keep her roommate company too. And guess who that pretty girl is? Hmm?" Raven enthusiastically gestured towards Clarke.

"Ugh, a blind date? I don't know about that, Rae."

"Please, Clarke? I really like this girl. And you've seen her! I'm sure her roommate is hot too," Raven was practically begging.

"Fine, but you owe me for this."

"Yes! Future favor, you got it!"

Clarke showered and changed into a pair of skinny jeans and white tee V-neck with a small pocket on the breast. She left her hair down and wavy and her and Raven headed out to the house they partied at only days before. It was about a 15 minute walk from their dorm and when they arrived, and Raven eagerly knocked at the door.

Anya answered with a smile and ushered them in. "Go have a seat on the couch, I'll make us some drinks."

"Let me help you, babe. You go on, Clarke," Raven offered.

"Don't think we're on babe level yet, but come on stud." Anya grabbed Raven's hand and led her to the kitchen.

Clarke headed to the living room to meet the roommate. She's not sure exactly what she was expecting, but it definitely wasn't this.

"You've got to be kidding me," the blonde says to the girl sitting on the couch.

"Well, hello to you too, Clarke."

"I'm going to kill Raven," the blonde muttered under her breath.

Of course, Lexa fucking Woodside was Anya's roommate. She should have at least considered it. Raven said they were from the same area, Lexa was at the party, and she specifically told her she didn't care to go to parties. It all makes sense now, though Clarke is feeling like an idiot for not putting it together sooner.

"You can sit, Clarke. I'm not going to hurt you," Lexa waves her hand towards the cushion next to her.

The blonde slowly lowers herself to the spot. "Did you know I'd be the one coming over tonight?"

"I assumed so, yes."

"Why didn't you say anything to Anya? You could have told her to not let Raven invite me," Clarke furrows her brows, astonished Lexa seems so ok with this.

"I could have. Although, just because you do not enjoy being around me, does not mean I don't enjoy seeing you."

Clarke was left speechless at that statement. Her mouth gaped open while looking into green eyes. She had always assumed Lexa hated her, couldn't stand her, wanted to work with anyone but her. She wasn't quite sure how to feel about what was just said.

Before she could try to process it even more however, Raven and Anya came giggling into the room. Well, Raven was giggling until she saw Lexa on the couch.

"Shit.." She breathed out.

“Everything ok?” Anya asks.

“Yeah, baby. All good,” Raven throws on a fake smile while handing Clarke a glass with whiskey in it.

Anya eyes the girl suspiciously.

“What? You said we weren’t on babe level yet, so I went for the next best thing,” she shrugs.

Anya hands another glass to Lexa and sits on the recliner adjacent to the couch. As Raven walks by she grabs onto her and practically pulls down to her lap. They adjust comfortably sharing the chair together.

“So I can’t call you babe yet, but we can sit on top of each other?” Raven asks.

“One step at a time.”

Clarke wasn’t prepared for this. Hanging out with Lexa for the night and watching her best friend get all cozy with this girl they barely knew. Feeling the need for the alcohol tonight, Clarke throws her glass to her lips and swallows the burning liquid in one gulp.

Watching her carefully, Lexa offers, “Would you like another one, Clarke?”

“Please.” She hands her glass over to the other girl.

Lexa returns with her glass replenished along with the whole bottle of whiskey placing it on the table in front of them.

“So I take it you guys actually already know each other?” Anya asks.

“Clarke is my lab partner,” Lexa states nonchalantly.

“Oh, come on, Commander. We go back further than that,” Raven chimes in.

At that, Clarke downs another glass. Lexa reaches over and politely refills for her again as she looks at Raven and responds, “You guys know I hated that you called me that.”

“Really? Your attitude said differently,” the blonde finally chimes in.

“Wait? What is this about?” Anya asks looking to Raven.

“We were all in marching band together. Yes, your girl here was a big fuckin band nerd, aren’t you proud?” Raven smiles to the girl next to her.

“You’re not my girl,” Anya is quick to respond.

“Anyway, Clarke and Lexa were the drum majors. Lexa, the head drum major, and a bad ass one at that. She wouldn’t let you get away with anything and worked us until we were basically falling to the ground. Earning the name, Commander.”

Lexa quickly adds in, “Clarke was a great drum major too.”

The blonde was in the middle of downing her third drink when she dropped her glass back to her lap. “Really? That’s news to me since you spent almost every hour yelling at me.”

“But Clarke, you told me once you-”

“Raven!!” She interrupts with a death glare before her so called best friend embarrasses her once more in front of the one person these stories are all about.

“Don’t take it personal, Clarke. Lexa has an obscene need for everything to be perfect. I’m sure that’s all it was,” Anya can see that this might be a touchy subject and attempts to cool Clarke down.

Raven also being clued in to this possibly turning into a fight between the two girls speaks up too, “Why don’t we do something else? Drinking game, anyone?”

Clarke was already feeling pretty good from the shots she had taken and shrugs in compliance. Lexa and Anya also agree.

“What do you think? Switch to beer, some 2v2 beer pong?” Raven suggests.

They all get up and set up the table and cups. Obviously, Anya and Raven wanted to be on a team which left Clarke and Lexa together. At least they were both similarly competitive which hopefully meant they could get along enough to play the game and win.

Raven scores the first cup and Clarke downs it easily. Lexa scores the next and the game goes back and forth with fun and laughs, but not without a sense of seriousness for each team really wanted to win.

“Yes! Good job, sweetie!” Raven praises when Anya lands a cup.

“Don’t call me that.”

The girl shrugs, “You know I’m just going to keep trying until you let something slip.”

“Clarke, try to arch the ball more. I think it’ll give you a better chance,” Lexa advises her teammate.

“I know what I’m doing, Lexa.” The words came out a little slurred and aggressive. All of them were feeling pretty good from the alcohol, but it was very obvious Clarke has had more than any of them and it was showing.

“I’m just trying to help. Look,” The brunette attempts to help guide Clarke’s arm, but she pulls back.

“I said I got it, _Commander._ ”

“Jesus, how did you put up with these two in high school,” Anya asks Raven as the two continue to bicker with each other.

“They’ve always been like this,” Raven mutters with a shake of her head.

“They really just need to get it on and get it over with,” Anya suggests.

“Thank you! Clarke won’t admit it, but it’s obvious she’s got a thing for her.”

“And I’ve never seen Lexa so adamant with someone before.”

Raven puts her hands on Anya’s hips and leans in close, “Maybe we should leave them be to figure it out then, while we go figure our own thing out?”

“Mm, I like the way you think, Reyes,” Anya responds with a smile and drags the girl towards her room.

“I’m just asking for you to try the way I am suggesting. If it doesn’t work then you can continue to berate me,” Lexa sighs.

“Fine.” Clarke grunts through gritted teeth.

“Fine.”

Clarke turns to finally take her shot and only then did the girls notice their opposing team has disappeared.

“What the fuck? Where did they go?” Clarke asks.

The faint sound of a moan comes through one of the closed doors down the hallway and Lexa says, “Don’t think we want to know.”

The blonde shrugs and starts to finish off the cups of beer from the table. “More for us then.”

Lexa drinks one more cup off the table and Clarke finishes the rest of them. Lexa looks at her a little worriedly, the blonde has drank a lot, but who is she to stop her?

“Can I ask you something?” Lexa implores.

Clarke shrugs. Her eyes are half closed now and her body is swaying.

“Why do you fight me on everything?”

“Why do you insist I do everything your way?” Clarke struggled to get the word ‘insist’ out, but powered through her question.

Lexa looked to the side pondering the question. Like she had never considered that’s what Clarke thought she was doing all these times she was actually just trying to encourage or help her.

“I’ll do better,” Lexa offered. Though, Clarke was too far gone to follow her meaning.

“Ugh, I’m spinning” Clarke said squinting her eyes. She slid down to the floor with her back slumped against the front of the couch.

“Alright, come on. Let’s get you laying down,” Lexa said walking over and kneeling down to the drunken girl.

“Jesus, Clarke. You smell like an entire liquor store.”

The blonde looked up as best she could to Lexa’s scrunched up face. “And you always smell like fresh rain. Like always.”

Lexa stopped in her tracks and searched Clarke’s face, waiting for the punchline. But it didn’t come. She stared into glossed over blue eyes not sure what to say.

“Do you shower outside or something? Like when it rains. Or do you bathe in fresh streams?” Clarke's hand makes it way up to rest on Lexa’s shoulder as she questioned her.

“No, Clarke. I have a regular shower, but that sounds nice,” the brunette smiles. This was a cute version of Clarke Lexa had never seen before. She wished it wasn’t because the girl was drunk off her ass, but it was still a nice change. “Ok, help me help you here. I’m gonna get you up and to the bed.”

“Outside?” Clarke groaned.

“No, not outside, silly. Just like my shower, I have a normal bed too.”

Lexa attempts to get Clarke up, but she has seemed to turn into dead weight.

“Come on, Clarke.”

She tries again and the blonde’s arms just flop down off her shoulders back to the floor.

“Clarke.”

The drunken girl groans. Lexa wraps her arms under Clarke's and around her back and pulls her up enough that she’s now sitting on the edge of the couch.

“Ok, Clarke.” Lexa prepares herself to pull her to her feet and to the bedroom.

“Fuck, Lexa. I told you to stop doing that,” The drunken girl mumbles with her eyes fully closed now.

“I know, you hate it when I try to help you. But you really need it this time, so I’m going to do it anyway.”

“No, s’not that.” Clarke slurs out.

Lexa moves her hands to the blonde’s face holding her head upright, urging her to open her eyes. “What is it then?”

“Told you stop saying name like that,” she responds through hooded eyes.

Lexa furrows her brows in confusion, “Like what?”

“Like makes me feel things down….” Clarke struggles with figuring out her words, “Raven says makes me shiver there when you do it.”

Lexa is dumbfounded. This was not something she was ever expecting to hear. And somehow, it was also making her feel things she struggled to describe as well. She knows she shouldn’t continue the conversation. She feels like she’s invading Clarke’s privacy knowing none of this would be said if she were sober. But also, what is she supposed to do with this new found information? It’s not like she can never say Clarke’s name again.

“Ok, Cla-, I mean, just come on.” Lexa lifts the girl up off the couch and helps walk her to her bedroom.

She lays her down on her bed and pulls her shoes off. She lays a blanket over and tells her to sleep it off. Lexa has a small sofa on the other side of her room that she sits on making sure Clarke gets to sleep without getting sick.

“Lexa?” Clarke mumbles as she drifts off.

“Yes?”

“Next time you shower in the rain, can I join you?”

The brunette smiles. She finds that she actually likes the images of that. “Sure, Clarke.”

“And I take it back. Never stop saying my name like that,” Clarke says quietly as she finally passes out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke's embarrassed of her drunken confessions, her and Lexa make progress...then don't make progress. Anya throws another party.

_Tap Tap Tap_

Clarke’s head twitches. She feels an incessant thud against her cheek and an unforgiving pounding through her skull. There’s also a weight pressing down on the left half of her body. She slowly squints her eyes open unsure what she’s waking up to.

“Morning, sunshine,” a dark face only a couple inches from her own with brown curls surrounding it smiles.

“Raven?” Clarke takes in the scenery around around her. This definitely isn’t her bed, she doesn’t remember falling asleep with Raven on top of her, and she recognizes nothing in this room.

Raven nods her head with her continued big smile and thankfully stops the tapping at her cheek. “About time.”

“Where are we?” Clarke asks confused.

“Lexa’s bed,” Raven answers with a smug shrug.

Clarke jolts up which pushes her friend off her and at the same time makes her head spin and throb with even more pain. “What!” She cries as her hands go to hold her throbbing brain.

“Yep. So did you guys finally do it?” Her friend asks excitedly.

“What?” Clarke asks through squinted pained eyes. “What do you mean ‘finally?’”

“Oh, I don’t know. You’ve had this intense crush on her for years and you’re waking up in her bed. It’s a valid question.”

“I don’t have a crush on her,” Clarke retorts with a roll of her eyes.

“Whatever you say. Now come on, Anya made breakfast. Everyone’s waiting on you.” Raven rolls out of the bed and exits the room.

Clarke sits for a minute trying to recollect her thoughts from the night before. She remembers hanging out in the living room having a few drinks and chatting, and starting a game of beer pong, a little arguing with Lexa. Of course. But not a whole lot after that. She for sure doesn’t remember getting into the enemy’s bed.

With a painful groan, she pulls herself out of the bed and heads into the kitchen where Raven is already seated, Anya is plating pancakes, and Lexa is at the coffee maker.

“Good morning, princess,” Anya says as Clarke flops down into one of the chairs at the table.

Lexa hands her a mug of coffee with a sympathetic smile before seating herself in the chair next to her. Clarke sips the coffee with her eyes closed as she feels the tiniest smidge of tension release in her pounding head. Anya sets plates in front of everyone and takes a seat next to Raven as everyone digs in.

“So, Lexa. You have to tell me what Clarke said last night,” Raven speaks up.

Lexa looks at her questioningly, “What do you mean?”

“Clarke’s an open book when she gets wasted. She can’t help herself, so I’m sure she revealed some good shit to you. What did she say?”

“I’m sitting right here,” Clarke interjects annoyed.

Lexa has a look of panic for a moment. Clarke’s husky voice rang through her memories telling her she smelled like fresh rain. Telling her she wanted to shower in the rain with her. Revealing just saying her name does certain things to her. She couldn’t exactly share these things over breakfast, however. Could she even let Clarke know she confided these things as she was sure the girl didn’t remember?

“Come on, don’t be shy. I do this type of thing to her all the time, it’s the price she pays for getting smashed. She once told me about a girl that she couldn’t stop watching how her hands and arms moved. That her hands were so talented, strong, and flawless during the day, she would do unspeakable things to find out what they could do at night,” Raven explains with eyebrows raised trying to intrigue the other girl.

“Raven!” Clarke hisses and whacks her arm.

“What! I didn’t say who the girl is,” her friend whispers back. Obviously, she was referring to Lexa. Clarke had been referring to how great of a drum major the commander was. Her arms moved flawless and relentlessly and it had mesmerized her. Of course, one night after getting drunk she revealed where she truly wanted those strong hands to be.

“So? What embarrassing thing did she say last night?” Raven continued to press.

Clarke covered her face in her hands pleading, “Please don’t.”

Lexa looked over to the poor girl. Obviously, she wasn’t going to tell the full story, but she could say a little to appease Raven.

“Nothing too embarrassing, really. She told me she wanted to shower outside in the rain,” She lets out with a shrug.

Clarke peaks through her fingers trying to remember if she really said such a thing. Either way, she was relieved that was pretty tame for the things she usually said.

“With who?” Raven asks.

The other girl’s eyes go wide for a moment, “What do you mean?”

“I know Clarke, and she wouldn’t have said something like that without someone else in mind to join her.”

_Oh, shit._ Clarke just pieced some things together. Not that Clarke has ever purposely tried to get close enough to Lexa or intentionally taken whiffs of her, but she has always loved the way the other woman smelled. She _always_ smells like a fresh rain fall; it’s almost intoxicating. That has to be how the showering in the rain confession came about. Even if she doesn't remember saying it, she knows that’s what it means. The other thing, Raven was completely right and knowing herself she probably told Lexa all of it. Thankfully, Lexa took mercy on her and only gave a piece of the story, and hopefully she kept it that way.

Terrified blue eyes meet sympathetic green. Clarke was silently begging Lexa to not answer the question if she actually knew who the who was. Understanding, Lexa only shrugs in response to Raven. The blonde sighs in relief and brings her coffee back up to her lips.

Though, Lexa she couldn’t help letting Clarke off the hook that easy. She did get wasted in her house and had to take care of her. She could have a little fun at her expense. And assuming Raven wouldn't let her off the hook with just a shrug, she decided to add some more.

“You know, she also mentioned something about sometimes shivering down ‘there’(Lexa made air quotes at that specific word) when someone says her name. Not sure what that was about.”

Clarke immediately choked on her sip of coffee and looked to Lexa wide eyed who was staring back with a smug smile. Did she tell Lexa it was her who does that to her? God, she hoped not.

Raven began cackling and Anya spoke up, “I’m pretty sure we know who and what that is about.”

Groaning, Clarke let her head fall back into her hands in an attempt to hide her embarrassment. No more drinking, she told herself.

“Don’t worry, Clarke. Lexa has had some embarrassing drunk stories herself,” Anya attempted to ease some of her pain.

“Shof op, Anya,” Lexa quickly interjects.

Anya responds back in their native language as well, leaving Clarke and Raven clueless to the conversation. The only things they could tell were Anya was entertained at the topic and Lexa was annoyed by their tone and expressions.

“Story for another time, Clarke. Promise,” Anya finally says as her roommate shakes her head unhappily.

They all finish up breakfast with light chatter after that. Anya and Raven annoyingly flirting with their eyes and light touches. Lexa and Clarke share a couple small smiles, but Clarke is too hungover and worried about the things she made have said the night before to enjoy it too much. She was almost certain the brunette was looking at her with reassurance that it was all ok, but it was such a different expression than Clarke was used to from her, she wasn’t sure she could trust it.

Raven leans over and kisses Anya before saying, “I should get this one home and back to bed. See you later, pookie.”

“Oh my god, call me that again and you won’t be allowed back in this house,” Anya responds with a roll of her eyes.

Raven laughs and drags Clarke out of the house to head back to their dorm. Once they’re gone Anya turns to Lexa. “So what happened with that?”

“With what?” Lexa asks innocently.

“You and blondie.”

“Nothing. She got too drunk, I let her sleep in my bed. I slept on my couch, that’s it.”

Anya eyes her, “How come you never told me you like her before?”

“Who says I like her? We can’t stand each other.”

“That’s because you’d rather be making out with her. That tension would ease up you know if you just did that instead of arguing all the time.”

Lexa rolls her eyes, “Yeah, like that’s going to happen.”

“You do know she’s into you too, right? Like it’s embarrassingly obvious. I just met her and I can tell.”

The other girl ponders for a moment, spinning her coffee mug in her hand. “I didn’t, actually. Not until last night,” she says quietly like the things said were still surreal.

“So there was more to the drunken confessions, huh?” Anya presses with a smile.

Lexa lets out a sigh. “She may have said some things about me, but obviously she doesn’t remember saying them. And now I feel like I’ve invaded her mind and know these secrets I shouldn’t. It’s awkward.”

“It’ll be fine, Lexa. And you know, having a friend other than me or even better a girlfriend could really do you some good.”

With a huff, Lexa laid her head on the table. Friend? Girlfriend? For now, all she could think about was just surviving Clarke Griffin.

_____________

The next couple of weeks go smoother than expected. Lexa and Clarke actually get along through class with only minimum quips at each other. Clarke wonders if Lexa is only holding back and taking pity on her after her getting embarrassingly drunk in front of her. Either way, she’s grateful their battles have taken a break for now.

Raven has been spending quite a lot of time at Anya’s leaving Clarke alone in the dorm room for the most part. She doesn’t really have much complaints about that other than just missing hanging out with her best friend, but she’s happy for her that she’s found someone so easily.

One afternoon, while Raven was at Anya’s, Clarke had just gotten back to her room from class. She tore off her jeans and pulled on a pair of sweat pants, readying herself for a relaxing evening. As she took her shirt off the door swung open. Assuming, Raven had actually come home for once Clarke didn’t falter and went about looking for a comfortable shirt.

“Oh, shit. Clarke, I’m sorry!”

The blonde turned around in a hurry and saw Lexa standing in her room. Her hands immediately went to cover her chest (thankfully, she still had her bra on, but still). “Lexa! What the fuck?”

“I’m sorry, Raven text me asking me to grab one of her text books. I was passing by your building anyway,” Lexa spoke through a strained voice and squinted eyes.

“And you don’t knock at places you don’t live?”

“She said the door would be open! To let myself in. I assumed that meant because you wouldn’t be home,” she defended.

“Well, I am home,” Clarke said sternly. She rolled her eyes. Of course, Raven knew she would be here and this was her way of fucking with them.

The initial shock was starting to slip away on Lexa and she was really looking at Clarke now. The cream color of her smooth stomach above her sweatpants, and her hands were really not doing a whole lot of good in covering the rest of her torso. The brunette was well aware of Clarke’s generous chest, but seeing it like this put all new visuals in her mind. The tops of her breast were spilling out in a beautiful contrast above her black bra and she couldn’t help but lick her lips at the sight. Clarke’s hands pressing against them didn’t help the fact and was sexy enough in itself.

The blonde cleared her throat with purpose and Lexa’s eyes jolted back up to hers. “You’re right,” she said and swallowed thickly. “I should have knocked anyway.”

Clarke eyed her curiously. Was Lexa sweating? She had never seen the other girl get nervous before. Everything they’ve been through and ever did Lexa was always an iron fist of confidence. They’ve even changed into uniforms plenty of times together through high school and had never seen this reaction out of her. Sure, there were always other girls around too, but this was definitely rare. Maybe Clarke could use this to her advantage for once and finally have a one up on Lexa.

She dropped her arms back to her side, no longer covering herself as she took a step toward the other girl. “They’re just boobs, Lexa. You have them too.”

“Yeah, I...I know.” She tried to take a step back but she was already against the door. “You c-can get dressed if you want. I did not mean to interrupt.”

“Actually, I’m pretty comfortable like this,” Clarke stated as she kept her advance towards the other woman.

Lexa let her head fall back against the door and looked up, trying to avoid everything Clarke. She couldn’t help but think of all the things Clarke had said to her a few weeks ago. Was this her actually coming on to her now? Or was this just her taking advantage of Lexa being uncomfortable? God knows she deserves it for how hard she’s always been to the other girl. She really couldn’t tell either way.

So Lexa gathered all her will power and did what she normally does. Probably not the right thing to do in this situation, but what she was used to with Clarke. She looked back down, glaring into blue eyes as she spoke, “You are going to need a shirt to get into the library, Clarke. Shouldn’t you be there studying right now? You are still not up to par in our chem class now, are you?”

That did it for the blonde. She clenched her jaw and took the final step putting her face to face with Lexa. She pointed a finger into her chest pushing her even further against the door. “You are unbelievable.”

“Maybe, but at least I’m smart,” she retorted with a raised eyebrow.

“You know what, Lexa?” Clarke threw her hands in the air exasperated. “You are not better than me. I like to have fun, so what? I’d rather not be the smartest person in the room if it means I’m as stuck up as you!”

Lexa was watching her closely. She knew her voice was expressing one thing, but her insides were fluttering. She both enjoyed and hated herself for getting under the blonde’s skin. She looked so beautiful right now too; half naked and passionately yelling at her. Something she always respected about Clarke was she never backed down, even when Lexa was being impossible towards her.

“I know school matters, ok? But it’s not the only thing. We need to live too! Have friends, learn by doing stupid things, and actually enjoy life. Shouldn’t it be more about that?” Clarke dropped her hands by the end of her last question. She was looking into Lexa’s eyes with a plead that she wasn’t just this robot without a need for fun here and there. She couldn’t be, right? How could she be so attracted to someone that couldn’t lighten up and have fun?

Lexa swallowed hard and her eyes fell to Clarke’s lips. “You’re right.”

“What?” She wasn’t sure she heard her right.

“We should be enjoying life,” she confirmed still looking at the blonde’s lips.

“Then-” But Clarke was cut off by Lexa reaching out and grabbing the side of her neck and pulling her to her. When their lips met it was soft and sweet, where Clarke expected it to be hard and urgent. Lexa took her time kissing her top lip slowly like she was savoring the feel and taste. It was Clarke who pressed and kissed back moving them along. The brunette’s bottom lip fit perfectly between hers. She couldn’t help herself and let the lightest touch of the tip of her tongue graze against the plump skin.

Lexa changed angles and brought her other hand up to hold Clarke’s face to her. The blonde happily obliged and held onto the taller girl’s hips. Feeling more comfortable, she let her tongue slip out further this time and Lexa met it with her own. There was no battle of dominance here. For the first time it was an equal give and take and Clarke wanted Lexa to take anything and everything she wanted from her.

However, before she could let that be known, Lexa was pulling away. She lightly pushed Clarke back by the shoulders, keeping her eyes closed to not have to meet the other girl’s stare. She stammered out, “I-I’m sorry.”

“Lexa?” Clarke pried with worry in her brow.

But Lexa turned and ran out the door without another word leaving Clarke confused, alone, and breathless.

Clarke touched her own fingers to her lips. She could still feel the lingering effects of the pair that was just on her. She’d never had a kiss quite like that before, and definitely never had someone kiss her and run. She wasn’t sure what to think. Did Lexa like her? Obviously, Clarke has been struggling with a love/hate thing with the girl for a while, but she never thought that attraction would be reciprocated. And honestly, she’s still not sure with the way Lexa bolted out of there. What she was sure about though was that was the best kiss she’d ever experienced, so that had to mean something, right?

Collapsing onto her bed, she let her thoughts run rampant about what this could mean and the what ifs and if she should even be thinking this much about it at all. Hours passed before she even realized and Raven came in pulling her from another vivid fantasy of Lexa’s lips on hers again.

“Hey,” Raven greeted. “Nice shirt.”

Clarke looked down and realized, too distracted by the afternoon’s events she never got around to actually putting a shirt back on. She quickly reached over and grabbed the closest one to her and threw it on. “Hey.”

Raven took a seat at the edge of her own bed. “So, did something happen between you and Lexa today? Like, more than usual?”

Clarke paled, “What do you mean?”

“She got back home and was really flustered. I’ve never seen her like that before. You must have really laid into her this time. She said she stopped by here, but didn’t have my book with her.”

“Did you send her here knowing I would be home?” Clarke asked with a tinge of annoyance in her voice.

“Maybe?” Raven winced. “Wait. Is that why you didn’t have a shirt on? Did you guys finally..?”

The blonde groaned loudly and fell back against her bed covering her face with her hands.

“Is that a yes?” Raven stood up excitedly.

“No, Raven. She walked in just as I was changing my shirt.”

“Oh. But you kept your shirt off?”

Clarke sighed and finally let it spill through her fingers still covering her face, “We kissed.”

“What!” Raven quickly walked over to her roommate’s bed and lounged back next to her. “That’s great!”

“I don’t think so,” Clarke said quietly.

“Why? I don’t care how much you deny it, I know you’re attracted to her, so kissing is good.”

“Is it good when the other person pulls away and runs out the door without a word?” The blonde’s voice sounded down and she was busying her hand picking at a string hanging off her sweatpants. It was obvious Clarke was unhappy with the result and feeling self-conscious about it.

“Oh,” Raven said sympathetically. “Maybe she just needs a moment to process. Maybe your kisses are just so magical she was overstimulated and didn’t know what to do but run?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Clarke said with a playful shove. At least her tone picked up a little bit.

“You know, Anya’s been opening up to me quite a bit. She’s been telling me a little about her and Lexa growing up together.”

“Oh yeah?” Clarke turned to look at her friend, intrigued.

“Yeah. Even though Anya’s a couple years older, she said her and Lexa really looked out for each other, like sisters. She told me Lexa had a girlfriend back in TonDC, that it was pretty serious, but that something bad happened. She said after that, that’s when Lexa turned into this serious, focused person we know her as.”

“What happened?” Clarke couldn’t help but ask.

“I’m not sure, to be honest. I don’t think Anya wanted to give away too much of Lexa’s business. I think it was her way of letting me know to be patient with her and to have a better understanding of how she can be sometimes.” Raven wrapped an arm around Clarke’s shoulder hoping this would help ease her thoughts on their kiss.

The blonde nodded and was grateful Raven came home tonight. It was nice to get some comfort and to be able to talk about what happened.

Her roommate pulled Clarke’s laptop over and pulled up Netflix. “Now, let’s watch some trashy shows and forget about life for a bit, huh?”

____________

The next time Clarke saw Lexa was the following week at class. She was nervous, to say the least. She had no idea how it would go or how to act or if they should talk about it or what. Luckily, Lexa had all those questions answered for her in the worst possible way.

She was completely back to her usual self. Bossing Clarke around, insulting her, agitated at everything the blonde did. It was like the kiss never happened along with all the progress they made after Clarke’s drunken confessions. It wasn’t unusual for Lexa to get under Clarke’s skin, but she was being absolutely infuriating now. This went on the same way for the next couple weeks of classes.

How could they share the best kiss probably in the history of the whole planet just for Clarke to be treated like this now? The frustration had the blonde fighting back twice as hard as usual. It got so bad at one point, the teacher asked them to leave the room and not come back unless they were cooled off enough by the the next class. They continued arguing down the hall placing blame on the other until they went their separate ways out of the building.

At the end of that week, Clarke came home to Raven telling her Anya was hosting another party and she really wanted her to come.

“Absolutely not,” Clarke said all too quickly.

“Come on, Clarke. You have been wound up so tight lately, you need to go out and have some fun,” her friend begged.

“Lexa will be there.”

“So what? I know she’s been a dick to you lately, but don’t let her control you this much. Go out and have fun anyway!”

“It won’t be fun, is what I’m trying to say,” Clarke replied seriously.

“I will carry you there if I have to, Griffin. I’m not taking no for an answer, you can ignore Lexa all night if you want, but you’re going to have fun,” Raven stated with her hands on her hips.

With a roll of her eyes and an unhappy grunt, Clarke turned to shower and change. Raven had a satisfied smile on her face and before they knew it they were making the walk to Anya and Lexa’s house.

It looked similar to the first party they saw there. People scattered about and music playing. When they entered, Raven headed off to greet Anya in the dining room and Lexa was in the same position as last time seated right next to her. Clarke spared a second of a meaningful glare towards her before making her way to the living room.

“You came back,” she heard a light voice behind her.

Clarke turned and saw Niylah, the nice girl she had danced and even shared a kiss with at the last party she attended.

“Niylah,” Clarke smiled. “Hello, again.”

The taller woman pulled her into a hug. “I was starting to think I wouldn’t see you again. You left quite an impression on me.”

“Is that so?” The blonde chanced a glance over to Lexa who seemed to be staring daggers at her.

“Oh yeah. I might even go as far as to say I’ve kind of missed you,” Niylah goes on unaware Clarke’s attention had turned towards someone else.

Finally looking back at her, Clarke responds, “Hmm. I remember your dancing skills being pretty impressive. Care to show me again?”

Niylah smiles brightly and take Clarke’s hand pulling her out to the group of dancing college students. A piece of Clarke feels guilty. In a way, she wishes it was Lexa dragging her out to the floor to hold close and dance with, but with how the commander has been with her lately no one could blame her for having fun with someone else.

Arms wrapped securely around her waist and she raised hers around the back of Niylah’s neck. The older girl held her close, their bodies flush together, and she whispered sweet things into her ear making her smile and laugh. Although, Clarke couldn’t help herself. She kept sneaking glances at a certain brunette across the house who looked tense enough that she might shatter the glass in her hand.

Another pang of guilt hit her. Niylah was nice enough, and sweet and attractive, but if Clarke was being honest with herself this was more an attempt to make Lexa jealous. No matter how the brunette had been to her the past couple weeks, Clarke could never forget that kiss and there was no convincing her that there weren’t any feelings behind it. So in a way, yes, she was using Niylah, but it would also be a lie to say Clarke wasn’t enjoying herself too.

At the last look at Lexa, who seemed to have steam coming out of her ears, Clarke nuzzled into the side of Niylah’s neck. The other girl hummed in appreciation and let her hands roam up Clarke’s back, swaying their hips all along. She continued to whisper sweet things to her making the younger blonde giggle against her, and for a moment Clarke forgot about trying to get to Lexa and just enjoyed herself. That was until-

“Clarke.”

She turned around and saw Lexa standing there, chest heaving up and down. “Lexa?”

“Can I talk to you for a moment?” She replied sternly.

“Right now?” Clarke asked glancing back to the woman she was currently dancing with.

Without responding, Lexa reached out and grabbed Clarke by the arm and practically dragged her to her room. She slammed the door shut behind them and turned to the blonde. “What are you doing?” She asked as if it was completely insane for her to be at a party enjoying herself.

“Are you serious right now, Lexa?”

“Don't you have better things to be doing than mounting some girl in my living room?” She sneered.

“Are you insane?” Clarke couldn’t believe her right now. “What do you even care what I’m doing?”

“I don’t.” Lexa said crossing her arms over her chest.

“Really? Then why did you drag me in here to yell at me for having fun at a party?”

“That was a little more than fun, don’t you think?”

“Are you jealous? Is that it?” Clarke accuses while leaning forward.

“What? No,” Lexa scoffs and looks away.

The blonde takes a step towards her, dropping her annoyed tone and comes out with a more tired one, “What is this really about, Lexa?”

The brunette rubs her fingers to her temples. “It’s nothing.”

Clarke takes another step, “Lexa, come on. What is it?”

“You just drive me crazy!” She blurts out.

Clarke cringes at the outburst, but quickly regains her resolve. “I know, we drive each other insane. We always have.”

“We kissed,” Lexa says so quietly finally looking back into blue eyes.

“I know that too.” Clarke is standing right in front of the other girl now. “That’s why I’m so confused right now. You kiss me, then act like shouldn’t have, you become a complete terror to me, and now you’re jealous I’m giving my attention to someone else. It’s hard to keep up with.”

“I know. It’s just...I don’t...I mean...It’s that...”

Clarke reaches up and take Lexa’s hands that were still rubbing incessantly at her forehead. She holds them lightly in her own. “Breathe, Lexa. It’s ok, just tell me what’s on your mind.”

The brunette nods. “I should not have run away from you that day.”

Clarke squeezes her hands urging her to go on.

“I know you think I’m harsh, but I’m like that because I want the best for you.”

“You can’t ever tone it down a notch or take it easy on me?” Clarke asks with a smile.

“If I did, things like kissing you would happen.” Green eyes look away again.

“And what’s wrong with kissing me exactly?”

“Kissing you was perfect, Clarke. I hadn’t felt that good since…”

Clarke searched Lexa’s face, “Since what?”

The other girl sighed. “It’s just been a while since I was with anyone. My last relationship ended terribly, I kind of swore them off. Then you made me feel all these things and I freaked out. I am sorry.”

“And how do you feel now?” Clarke pulled on Lexa’s hands bringing her closer to her.

“Like I could deck Niylah for ever even looking at you again. Which is ridiculous, I like Niylah. See? You make me feel crazy.”

The blonde couldn’t help but laugh at that confession. “What else?”

“Like I’m an asshole for being extra hard on you lately.”

Clarke pulled Lexa’s hands again wrapping them around her back so the brunette was now holding her around the waist and they were pressed against one another. “Anything else?”

“I would really like to kiss you again.”

With a smirk, she replied, “So do it, commander.”

She leaned in and brought their lips together and Clarke’s arms went up to her shoulders holding her in place. This kiss was still slow, but moved with a graceful synchronicity. Their lips parted together and tongues slid against one another in a beautiful dance.

Clarke pulled back slightly and rested their foreheads together. “Don’t freak out on me again,” she whispered. “You don’t have to tell me what happened in your past, but if we need to stop just say so.”

“Clarke?” Lexa whispered back and could feel the shiver go down the other girl’s spine at the mention of her name.

“Hmm?”

“I don’t want to stop. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, and I want you. God, I’ve wanted you so bad.” Lexa’s hand tentatively moves up to Clarke’s cheek hoping she hasn’t gone too far in this confession.

“Fuck, Lexa.” Clarke reaches out and covers Lexa’s hand with her own. “Take me. Please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: BunnyHeda  
> Don't be shy, feel free to say hi and let me know what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke finally get some alone time, but their happiness is very short-lived.

“ _Fuck, Lexa.” Clarke reaches out and covers Lexa’s hand with her own. “Take me. Please.”_

Lexa pushes forward, putting their lips together once again. She kissed with everything she had, memorizing the grooves of Clarke’s mouth and exactly how she tastes. With her hand still against the blonde’s cheek, she encourages her to kiss deeper. Their mouths open at the same time and tongues tangle in the most delicious way.

It’s unclear if Clarke steps back and pulls Lexa first, or if Lexa steps forward and pushes Clarke, but either way they were heading towards the bed. The blonde’s hands find the buttons to Lexa’s shirt and gracefully undoes them pushing the garment off her shoulders and to the floor. Her kisses move across a chiseled jaw and down to to Lexa’s neck where she lightly sucks and scrapes teeth against greedily.

They both can feel their arousal gathering below their pants. The backs of Clarke’s legs hit the edge of the bed, but they stay in their position, taking their time removing clothes. Lexa’s hands make their way under the hem of her partner’s shirt. She feels the smooth, warm skin under her fingers and her splayed hands rise higher and higher taking the shirt with her until she’s peeled it all the way off. Without pause, she snakes around to Clarke’s back and unclasps her bra with ease.

She wastes no time and fills her hands with the blonde’s generous breasts. She squeezes feeling how wonderful the weight and flesh feel under her control. Clarke moans out her appreciation and it guides Lexa’s fingers to tickle over hardened nipples. Hands make their way to the brunette’s jeans unbuckling and unzipping quickly before shoving them along with her underwear down to the floor. The same hands remove her own bottoms as Lexa peels her bra off herself.

“Lay down, Clarke,” Lexa says against her lips.

Clarke does as she’s told all the while keeping her eyes held to green ones. She relaxes fully on the bed as Lexa rakes her gaze all over her body. She takes in the raw beauty of the girl lying fully naked in front of her before climbing over her herself.

“You’re so beautiful,” she whispers before melding their lips together again.

Lexa takes her time kissing her with mouths open. She moves down a soft neck, to a prominent collarbone, and across a magnificent chest before taking a pebbled, pink nipple into her mouth. Clarke’s hands find themselves wrapped in chestnut curls as a tongue flicks across her most sensitive part of her chest. Lexa moves to the other one as the blonde spreads her legs open letting her partner fall more comfortable in place.

A pleasurable gasp escapes Clarke’s mouth when fingers suddenly and easily glide through drenched folds.

“ _Jok, Klark._ You are soaked,” Lexa whispers as she makes her way back to kissing the blonde’s lips.

Clarke moans, “Mmm, maybe you should do something about that then.”

Lexa smiles into their kiss. The fingers of her right hand are moving torturously slow up and down the other girl’s slit. Clarke was trembling under the touch and raising her hips in an attempt for more friction.

“I plan on it. Relax, Clarke,” the brunette breathes against her ear.

Clarke does her best to still her hips and focus on the feeling of Lexa’s fingers against her. Though the ache and want she’s desperate for makes it rather difficult. Luckily, the brunette doesn’t make her wait too long. After a few more delicate strokes, Lexa slides two fingers gently inside her.

“Oh, fuck,” spills out of Clarke’s mouth. With fingers knuckle deep pressed into her, keeping her hips still is no longer an option. She raises off the mattress helping Lexa push as deep as she can and adjusts to the way her insides feel full of her.

Lexa expertly pulls out and presses back in at an easy pace. The blonde’s hands grip tightly to her back over her shoulder blades, needing something to hang on to. The pace increases and the fingers inside her curl exactly right. Clarke moans out blissfully, and when Lexa’s palm rubs against her clit with every thrust she just knows she’ll be a goner any second.

“Lexa, I..” The blonde tries to say anything as her grip hardens and her breathing turns into short pants.

The woman on top nuzzles against her nose speaking softly, “It’s ok, Clarke. I want you to. Let go.” She thrusts faster knowing the inevitable is about to happen. As soon as Clarke cries out in ecstasy, she puts her lips back on her kissing her hard and swallowing all of her moans. She slows down her ministrations, but lets the blonde ride out her orgasm to the fullest she can provide before pulling her hand all the way out.

Clarke goes limp and light layer of sweat moistens her skin. Lexa kisses across the damp skin of her shoulder until the blonde regains her ability to speak again.

“Lexa, that was...fuck, I don’t even know what to say.” She pulls the other woman by the cheeks and kisses her hard. Hopefully, that speaks more than her words.

After a moment, Lexa pulls back and looks deeply into cerulean eyes. Clarke can still see the want and need behind her expression, like she’s not even close to being done with her yet.

“Clarke,” She whispers. “I would really like to taste you now.”

The blonde’s mouth falls open slightly. A whole new wave of arousal washes over her at the thought of Lexa’s skilled tongue in her most sacred places. Quickly realizing this doesn’t have to just be a thought, she stares into those emerald eyes full of desire and nods her consent.

Time had no concept as the two continued to pleasure each other throughout the night. Lexa’s mouth proved to be just as skillful as her fingers and Clarke acquainted herself with the feel and taste of her partner’s sex as well. They took turns making each other cum until the early hours of the morning when they both finally fell against each other in exhaustion.

They fall asleep facing each other with legs tangled together and hands lazily draped on hips and sides. They slept this way for hours never losing contact.

Lexa was the first to wake. The room was bright with sunlight. A glance to the clock told her it was close to noon. She couldn’t remember the last time she slept this late, but she also couldn’t remember the last time she woke up feeling this relaxed.

She brought her hand up letting her fingers brush lightly across the cheek of the gorgeous blonde lying next to her. She looked so content and at peace in this state, unlike her usual assertive, abrasive self she usually saw.

Clarke stirred, “Mm, morning.”

“Good morning, Clarke.”

The blonde’s hand had been resting on a naked hip, and at the sound of Lexa speaking her name in that fantastic way she always does, made her reflexively squeeze against the soft skin. The brunette chuckled at the action.

“Is this real? Clarke Griffin is actually in my bed right now?” Lexa scoots closer and rubs her nose lightly against the other woman’s.

“Hmm, if I remember correctly, this is not the first time I’ve been in your bed.”

“True, but first time you’ve been in my bed and we have done this.” Lexa captures Clarke’s lips in hers giving her a soft and slow kiss.

They spend a few minutes kissing and snuggling and letting hands roam across bare skin. It felt good to have a morning like this. Neither of them even found it strange or uncomfortable to actually be so comfortable with the other.

“Do you think I could use your shower?” Clarke eventually asks.

“I don’t think there is rain in the forecast today, Clarke.” Lexa responds with a teasing smile.

“Very funny,” she replies with a playful shove.

Lexa rolls on top of her still with a smile and leans in to spread kisses down her neck. She doesn’t make it very far before they hear a knock on the front door of the house. Lexa lifts up with a confused look before her face turns to a panic.

They hear Anya answer the door and some muffled chatter before she calls out, “ _Lexa, Titus ste hir_!”

Clarke sees Lexa’s face pale before she calls back out in their language to give her a few moments. She reaches up cupping her cheek and asks, “What is it? What’s going on?”

Lexa climbs off her and quickly starts throwing on a t shirt and sweatpants. “It’s my uncle. I completely forgot he was visiting me today.”

“Well, that sounds nice, why are you freaking out about it though?” She asks with concern.

“Clarke, I need you to do me a favor and stay in here until I leave with him. I’ll try and hurry and take him out to lunch like we planned and then you can head out.”

“Wait, what? Are you being serious right now?”

Lexa’s gaze portrayed exactly how serious she was being.

“It’s not like I’m in your childhood bedroom. We’re adults here,” Clarke argued.

Lexa only continued to stare at her unamused.

“Screw you, Lexa. Are you ashamed of me or something?” Clarke sat up angrily.

“What? Of course not,” She replied as if that was a completely ridiculous assumption.

“Is your uncle a homophobe?”

“No, not at all,” she responds while tying her messy hair up in a ponytail.

“So what’s the problem? Oh god, do you actually have a girlfriend that your uncle knows? Did you just cheat on someone with me?” Clarke was trying to figure out how Lexa went from being the sweetest thing this morning to this ashamed jerk.

“No, don’t be ridiculous, Clarke. I am with no one.”

“Then explain it to me because you’re being a real ass right now. Telling me to hide away after an amazing night together? I don’t hide, Lexa.”

She knew Clarke was right, she was never one to hide away from things, but Lexa didn’t know what else to do in this moment. If her uncle saw her with anyone she’d be in trouble. For now, she’d like to keep Clarke to herself.

“I have to get out there now. Please, Clarke. Just stay here until the coast is clear.” And with that, Lexa left the room with a fuming Clarke left behind.

The blonde could hear them talking outside of the door, but couldn’t tell what they were saying due to speaking their native language. Even though she couldn’t understand the words, she could tell the conversation didn’t feel easy or comfortable like a talk between an uncle and niece should, but more forced.

“Fuck this,” Clarke said as she got out of the bed. She hides from no one, and she won’t be shamed. Especially by Lexa.

She pulled on her jeans and grabbed Lexa’s button up shirt she pulled off her the night before. She put her arms through the sleeves and haphazardly buttoned it up, purposely leaving skin to see. Without bothering to fix her hair or make her self presentable in anyway, she marched out of the room.

Lexa was standing with her chin raised, feet spread slightly apart, and her hands held behind her back across from a tall man with a bald head covered in tattoos. Lexa turned towards her when she came out of the room with a look of utter fear. The man across from her had a death glare on Clarke.

She sauntered over to them and kissed Lexa on the cheek. “Thanks for last night, babe.” She shot them a wink and headed out of the house. Before the door closed she could hear the uncle raising his voice sternly at his niece. That’ll teach her, Clarke thought as she headed home.

When she gets back to her dorm, Raven is sitting on her bed with her laptop. She looks up and takes in Clarke’s state with a happy grin on her face.

“Whoa! Did you actually head home with Niylah last night?”

“Nope,” Clarke said shortly and began to peel off her clothes to get into something more comfortable.

“Well, you disappeared and that is definitely not your shirt. It barely fits over your boobs, Clarke!”

The blonde flopped onto her own bed and with a huff said, “It’s Lexa’s.”

Raven shot up. “What! Finally!”

Clarke rolled her eyes and her roommate asked, “How was it?”

“Honestly, fucking incredible, Raven. Until she acted like a complete asshole this morning.”

“What do you mean?” Her roommate asked with concern.

Clarke explained how perfect the morning started off and then how Lexa abruptly changed once her uncle showed up. She told her how Lexa wanted her to hide and how much it pissed her off into doing the opposite of hiding.

“Maybe Lexa isn’t out to her family, Clarke. So she panicked?” Raven tried.

“I don’t think it was anything like that. You told me she had a girlfriend before, and she said her uncle doesn’t have a problem with same sex relationships.”

“Either way, that was a dick move on her part. I’m sorry.” Raven got up and cuddled up beside her friend offering her some comfort. “Sounds like you got her back pretty good though.”

The two laughed at Clarke’s antics and decided to spend the rest of the day forgetting about what a disappointment the morning was.

________________

Clarke and Lexa had kept their distance the following few days. That is, until they had to be in class together later that week, and things couldn’t have been more uncomfortable. Lexa was giving Clarke the cold shoulder and Clarke was still unhappy with her choice to ‘hide’ her away.

They worked in silence throughout class, but the fact that Lexa was acting like Clarke was in the wrong here was only pissing the blonde off even more. She was fuming, but knew in the middle of class was not the right time to start this fight. She half expected Lexa to apologize when class started and turn back into that sweet girl she woke up to the other morning. Clearly, it wasn’t going to happen, and that broke Clarke’s heart just a little bit more.

Clarke let her anger build up until class was over. She wasn’t going to let the girl get away with treating her like this, she just had to make it until they were dismissed without blowing up on her. Once it was over, Lexa tried to rush out quickly away from her lab partner, but Clarke was hot on her tail.

“Hey!” She said, grabbing the taller woman’s arm once they got into the hallway.

“I have nothing to say to you, Clarke,” Lexa sneered while pulling her arm back to herself.

“Well, you should! How about starting with ‘I’m sorry for asking you to pretend like nothing happened between us.’”

Lexa scoffed, “You think I should apologize to _you_?”

Clarke folded her arms and stared at the other woman with a raised brow waiting for said apology.

“You should be apologizing to me, Clarke. You almost ruined everything!”

“Ruined it? And here I thought we had a good time,” Clarke added.

Lexa didn’t say anything, just stared down at the other woman with that stoic face of hers.

“So, that’s it huh? You just used me for a night of fun? Or is it you think what we did was a mistake?” Clarke stared into green eyes looking for any reaction that told her these things couldn't be true.

“Love is weakness, Clarke.”

“Who said anything about love, Lexa? We could have just been beginning,” Clarke said still searching her partner’s eyes.

Lexa clears her throat uncomfortably and averts her gaze for the quickest moment. Then instead of responding, she steels her jaw and stares back with a mask void of emotion.

“I thought,” Clarke choked off shaking her head, not being able to meet Lexa’s hurtful stare anymore. She went on quietly, “I thought I finally meant something to you.”

Lexa swallowed hard. “You don’t.” She turned on her heel and headed out of the building leaving a hurt Clarke behind again. Only, the blonde couldn't see she wasn’t the only one hurting as tears fell down the commander’s face too while she hurried away.

Clarke ran back to her dorm room to sob into her pillow until her best friend got home and comforted her as best she could.

______________

A few days later, Raven and Anya are cuddled up on the couch at Anya’s place. They're giggling and sharing kisses and stories while the TV plays unnoticed in the background. Lexa walks through the front door and at seeing them starts to head straight to her room, but Raven immediately jumps up at the opportunity to give the woman a piece of her mind.

“Hey, asshole!” She yells, sure to get her attention.

“I don’t need to hear this from you, Raven,” Lexa says tiredly.

“Yes, you fucking do. I’ve been comforting my friend all week because _you_ made her feel so used and ashamed.”

“I did not force her into my bed, and we spoke of no expectations before or after. Seems to me she’s being over dramatic and needs to get over it,” Lexa said coldly.

“Don’t you do that. I know you didn’t know the full extent of how attracted she was to you, but I know you were aware of something there. So either you are the biggest asshole on the planet and used her, or you’re a chicken shit and are running away from her now. Either way, it was a super dick move, Lexa.”

“What I do is not your business.”

Raven was quick to respond, “When it has to do with my best friend, it’s absolutely my business.”

“Then take it up with your best friend. I am over it.”

“One and done, huh? You’re a real piece of work. I see you, Lexa. You’re haunted by things, you pretend that you’re not, but you are. And you’re taking that out on an undeserving girl. How tough does that make you feel?”

“Get. Out.” Lexa strains with her chest heaving.

“No. You’re not going to scare me away too. I’m hear to see Anya anyway, I was just lucky enough you came home early enough for me to be able to share my thoughts with you.”

“You have no idea what you are talking about, and I suggest you leave it be,” the commander snarled at her.

“I thought better of you, Lexa! I know you’ve always been a hard ass, but I could always see something soft under there. And I know Clarke did too, otherwise she would have never wasted her time on you. You fooled us both. You’re the worst, _commander_ ass hat.” Raven stood her ground staring down the woman across the room.

“Anya,” Lexa hisses while still staring at the other girl. _“Yu don em hod up fou ai hod op em.”_

Anya had stayed back watching closely until now. She knew both women were capable of handling themselves and didn’t want to interfere. Lexa was like a sister to her, but Raven was someone she was really starting to care for and didn’t want to choose sides. She did know, however, to take Lexa’s threats seriously and didn’t want her and Raven brawling in the living room.

She reached out and grabbed Raven’s hand turning her towards herself. “Come on, babe. You said what you had to say, now let’s get back to you and me time.”

Raven smiled and Anya’s words had her completely forgetting the girl she was just seething at. “Did you just call me babe?” She dropped down onto Anya’s lap throwing her arms around her neck and pecking her lips. “Finally! We’re on babe level,” she giggled happily.

Lexa took this opportunity to make it the rest of her way to her bedroom. She really wasn’t in the mood to see those two be lovey dovey, or anyone for that matter, at the moment.

After getting over the giddiness of winning Anya over, Raven turns more serious. “Can I ask what’s really going on with that?” She tilts her head towards Lexa’s room.

“Look, I really don’t want to give her business away. She could quite literally kill me if I do. Just know she is being an ass, but she also has her reasons. When she’s ready, she’ll tell Clarke about them, and I’m sure Clarke will tell you. So just be patient.”

Raven nodded in understanding and leaned in to kiss her again.

Lexa fell down onto her sofa and rested her head in her hands. What was she doing? Of course she cared for Clarke and it was killing her to treat her this way. The blonde hadn’t done anything wrong, it was all her uncle Titus making things difficult. But things going wrong for Titus, meant things going wrong for her, so for now she needs to keep the blonde at a distance.

The guilt was tearing her up though. Was it possible they could go back to being friends for now? Chem class was torture today. Their usual banter and disagreements were better than the painful silence they experienced today. Lexa had to fix this, but carefully. She knew Clarke was hurting, but didn’t realize the extent until Raven came after her today. She absolutely did not regret sleeping with her, that was easily one of the best nights of her life. However, it complicated things now.

Lexa pulled out her phone. She stared at it for a good 5 minutes contemplating what to do. In the end, she decided short, simple, and sweet would be the best way to go.

__________

As Clarke laid in bed watching trashy TV on her laptop when she should probably be doing homework she heard her phone text tone go off. She pulled it off her desk assuming it was Raven letting her know she was staying at Anya’s for the night. She was surprised to see it wasn’t Raven at all.

 **Lexa:** I’m sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the feedback! Continue to let me know what you think, or stop by my tumblr and say hi =)
> 
> BunnyHeda


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